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Blog EntryNov 13, '07 10:18 AM
for everyone
When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the Philippines? Well here it is.....
It is the only place on earth where......

1.  Every street has a basketball court.
2.  Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
3.  Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
4.  Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
5.  School is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.
6.  Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
7.  Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.
8.  Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.
9.  Everything can be forged.
10. All kinds of animals are edible.
11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.
13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
18. People can pay to defy the law.
19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.
20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!
21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.
22. Being called a bum is never offensive.
23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.
24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.
26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)
27. Where insurance does not work.
28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.
29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).
30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)
31. Where University of the Philippines where all the weird people go.
32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.
33. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.
34. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;
35. University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
36. Fast food is a diet meal.
37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
38. Where being mugged is normal and It happens to everyone.
39. Rodents are normal house pets.
40. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.
41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;
42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.
45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.
46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.
47. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga 'to!)
48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax)
     - than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.
49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!
 
 
FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:

1.   The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.
2.   Anita Bakery
3.   A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night
4.   Barber shop called Felix The Cut;
5.   A bakery named Bread Pitt
6.   Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.
7.   Then, there are Christopher Plumbing
8.   A boutique called The Way We Wear
9.   A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental
10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken
11. A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's
12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts
13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll
14. And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.
Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to
unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish'
(The Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:
15. At a restaurant menu in Cebu ? We hab sopdrink in can an in batol?
[translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].
16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises -
 [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]
There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but
they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to 'correct' them like.......
17. In a restaurant in Baguio City, the 'summer capital' of the Philippines: ? Wanted: Boy Waitress?
18. On a highway in Pampanga: ?We Make Modern Antique Furniture?
19. On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan: ? We Shoot You While You Wait?
20. And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila:?Wanted:
Waiter, Cashier, Washier?. Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:
21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: ? We Sell Imported
Robber Shoes? (these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers);
22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads: ?House For Rent, Fully Furnaced?
(it must really be hot inside)!
23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not
altogether odd.
City in southern Philippines which said: ?Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50
centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation? .
24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops
selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia
- which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs,
Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it or not)!
25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient.?The
creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than
just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new
words, ?says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign .....
House Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two
will do?
26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit
in the Philippines because?We are a country where a good sense
of humor is needed to survive?. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called
the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of
politicians and bad actors.

Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to live?
 
 
 
Source: Anonymous
9 comments

Blog EntryJul 10, '07 8:45 AM
for everyone

SUN.STAR Cebu chief photographer Alex Badayos was beaten up by a mob of supporters of Bogo City Mayor Celestino "Junie" Martinez Jr. yesterday afternoon.

      Badayos, 45, suffered bruises and cuts in his head, ribs and arms after some 20 men took turns hitting and kicking him at the Bogo City Hall past 3 p.m.

      Badayos wanted to take a photo of a ballot box snatched from the hands of Cebu City North District Election Officer Marchel Sarno, who was ordered to take custody of election returns that were needed for the canvassing of votes in Manila.

      Supporters tried to block Badayos from going up the stairs to the second floor.

      However, he identified himself as a photographer of Sun.Star Cebu.

      At this, the mob dragged him from the stairs and took him to the front part of the city hall where they took turns beating him.

      They claimed the newspaper has been biased against the Martinezes.

      They also seized his digital camera and bag, containing a laptop.

      However, the laptop and digital camera were recovered by policemen, who turned the items over to a news crew from GMA 7.

      Also, Cebu Provincial Police Office Director Carmelo Valmoria lost a cellular phone issued to him by the Police Regional Office 7.

      The Nokia 1100 phone was tucked in his waistband when the mob pressed against policemen and Sarno.

      Valmoria said he lost it in the scuffle.

      "We will file appropriate charges in coordination with the Comelec (Commission on Elections). Grave threats, physical injuries...we will consolidate everything. We were planning to leave but they prevented us. You (media) saw what happened," he told reporters.

      However, Valmoria and the policeman he ordered to enter the general services office may be facing criminal and administrative charges.

      Martinez announced his intention to file complaints against them.

      "They destroyed the door, gisaka sa police as ordered by Valmoria? He cannot do that," Martinez said. (Mia E. Abellana)

12 comments

Blog EntryNov 21, '06 8:05 AM
for everyone
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all
been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about
achieving 101%? What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these

Questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

AND, look how far the love of God will take you

L- O- V - E-O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get
you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
3 comments

Blog EntryAug 6, '06 1:23 PM
for everyone

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock,
I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!


HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile,
"We better throw this one out too then,
'Cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.


OPINIONS
On the

first day of school, a first-grader handed his Teacher a note from
his Mother. The note read,
"The opinions expressed by my son are not
necessarily those of his Parents."



KETCHUP
A Woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy!" the child said to her mother. Then
she added,
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle."



MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the Women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"



ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchair's, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered
"The Tooth Fairy will never believe this!"



DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her Parents dress for a party. When she saw her
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

 

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of  school. "I'm just wasting
my time!" she said to her Mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"



BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out." What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice! , he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear

7 comments

Blog EntryJul 1, '06 12:40 PM
for everyone

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
 
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:
"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.

Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.

14 comments

Blog EntryJun 8, '06 12:52 PM
for everyone

Thing none knew see in die
Who bought who bad
The hill key none taught see in die
Last fog see in die.

Fog must done knew see who one
Thin knee tea gas sun
Cash sea see in die
Who bought who bad
Bull ball money peace.

In knee love bus knee who one
Dean act money in die
Key knee league see who one
The hill be not tea knee in die
Knee love as son see who one
Be thin see in die!

See in die at see who one
I sad young knock khaki key league
The hill be thin see in die
Nag sar really nah lung…….

(reprinted from The Best Pinoy Jokes)

6 comments